Hold on it's not your turn yet

Number one, bring a friend. You are going to be drinking heavily, since some of the places you are going have minimum drinking requirements. So it would be a good idea to have someone, or a few someones, who can be a designated driver.

Plan on having lots of cash on hand, but make sure you can keep it in a safe place. Small bills are a major plus (oh I'm sure you know where we are going by now). Also whenever you find the place you are going, also find a hotel nearby if you intend on drinking very heavily.

It might even work to your favor if you already have a hotel room set up before you go. That way you can take a cab to and from the club, and everyone can get thoroughly smashed.

Is this going where I think it's going?

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to hit every single strip club on your way from here to there. Experience the good, the bad, and the ugly or strange. It will be the trip that reminds you why you like women – and why you love your future wife.

However, strip clubs are not exactly the most obvious thing in the world to find, especially the good ones. Go to www.stripclublist.com, and you will find quite possibly the most comprehensive listing of strip clubs on the web. Each club is rated and commented, with a bit of information on each one too.

No, please, don't stop

Strip clubs are not just for the night time – and remember, your goal is to hit every single one. Stop over at Café Risqué, off of I-75 in Gainesville, Florida at around 5 or 6 in the morning. Nobody is dancing, but feel free to ogle the naked lady serving coffee.

Some places can be a fifty-fifty shot in the dark though. Café Erotica off I-75 in Byron, Georgia will serve your breakfast with a steaming stage of hot dancer. Or, maybe not so steaming hot. Sometimes daytime dancers are not the greatest to look at, but a good number of them work during the day so they do not have to deal with drunken debauchery.

They all taste a little different

Every club is very different. Some are really classy, with expensive drinks, plush surroundings, and while the girls are more likely to have a brain, they are less likely to give you the time of night.

Other clubs are great because they are such a dive. If you want a little more than touch and go, they just might be willing and capable of accommodating you. Plus the drinks are cheaper, leaving a bit more cash for a surprise gift to your wife. Every club is an unique experience – so have fun!

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You don't have to be a car enthusiast to appreciate The Henry Ford. Anything and everything to do with American history – and not just car history – can be found right in Dearborn Michigan, just a hop skip and jump away from the place the automotive industry was born. The best part of it is, there are so many different areas for you to explore, so there is something for everyone!

Touch the stuff your parents only saw on TV

The Henry Ford Museum is a modern American History museum, and for the most part it is self-guided but there are usually staged demonstrations for certain exhibits. There's a rotation of interesting exhibits on various aspects of American culture, from manufacturing to profiles on certain generations, although some are pretty regular staples of the museum, for obvious reasons.

Given that you are at The Henry Ford, you would expect a good range of cars – but the array is quite simply staggering. Probably the most amazing display are the presidential limousines, including the Kennedy limo, made famous on that fateful day.

There is also the chair Lincoln was shot in. You'll see some discoloration on the chair itself, and some people think this is blood from Lincoln. This is actually not the case. Residue from the many people who sat in the chair wore it out. There is also a good array of planes including a few of Howard Hugh's planes and a replica of the Write Bros, which brings me to the Greenfield Village.

Walk through the houses they actually lived in

The Village is a bit different from the Museum in focus. It still covers American history, but with a much broader scope, ranging from colonization until the early 20th century. It is a predominantly outdoor place, and the buildings are either the actual building as it originally stood, or reconstructions of historical buildings.

Most of these places are self-guided with staff positioned at the important spots. Most staff are in costume or full-on character, giving you a real feel for how it actually was way back when. It is truly a magical and lovely place to be.

Some of the buildings include the Edison Lab, the first electrified home, which is placed in the exact relative location to the lab. Also there is the Wright brothers home and garage, and the Heinz home – as in Heinz 57.

New ways to explore yet more neat old stuff

Two very new additions are the Ford Rouge Factory Tour and the Benson Ford Research Center, which is essentially a research-focused museum and curator. I haven't been on the factory tour in it's current rendition, since it has been tossed around in ownership through the years. It was first run by Ford Motor Company itself, and in lieu of a factory tour there was a ride which simulated what building a car would be like – with you as a car. I'm not sure what they are doing now, so you will just have to see for yourself!

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Bring your own stuff

You have a whole car to pack – may as well put it to good use! Although it's pretty obvious to bring your own food and drink, thinking outside the box can save even more money. Keep your bottles – especially ones that are not clear, cap and all. That way you can refill on water at a fountain, or sneak in alcohol to places where it would otherwise cost an arm and leg.

Granola is also a good idea to have in ample quantity, since it is compact, filling, and good for you. Not to mention it tastes fantastic. Try to refrain from eating white bread or other foods that will only make you hungry faster, and drinking lots of water will help keep hunger at bay.

Don't bother with hotels

Sleeping in the car can get uncomfortable, so bring a cot and a tent. If you can't afford a tent, a good sized tarp, some rope, and a few sticks makes a great shelter. In extreme situations and chilly nights, I know a few people who have even slept underneath their car.

There are also plenty of campgrounds all across the country, and while some charge, it is often far less expensive than a hotel would be. Plus they often have showers, toilets, and cabins, not to mention a fantastic view.

The most obvious way is to stay with friends and family – but even if you don't know someone who lives along the way, your friends or family might have friends who do. Be sure to bring brownies or other treats to make the stay that much sweeter for them.

Make money on your trip

If you play a musical instrument, make a stop in the downtown of any major city and play for a few hours. Sometimes it works better if you put up a sign announcing why you are there – people tend to give more if they know you are not just some random local bum.

Be creative, dress strange, or make an instrument if you don't have anything on hand. Probably the most fantastic street performer I have seen was drumming on miscellaneous things found in a kitchen. Even if all you have is a great voice, just pick a spot and sing.

Another way to make money on the road is modeling for art classes. Contact the colleges along the way before you go to ask how much they compensate, and whether you have to be in the nude. Don't worry about it – they don't know you!

Drive fuel-efficiently

Tune up before you go, including an oil change and air filter, even if it seems like you don't need it yet. Drive at a steady pace, and refrain from accelerating rapidly. Try to keep your car below 2,500 RPM as much as possible, and 55 is the most fuel efficient speed for most cars. It is also more fuel efficient to leave the windows down at low speeds to cool down the car, then at high speeds keep the windows up and use the air conditioner.

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After a long week in the office, just one weekend out there could renew your appreciation for the life you live, and all that you have been blessed with. The best part – you don't have to spend a dime, if you don't have one.

These kinds of expeditions are a great way of uplifting your own spirits. You truly do get so much more than you give.

Catastrophic weather

Recent tornadoes in Kansas and Missouri have wiped out entire communities – I'm sure they would really appreciate the help. Even if all you have to offer is your kind words and a helping hand, every little bit helps.

You could also offer your time to any aid programs already there, such as the Red Cross. The more people they have to distribute supplies, the faster everyone can get on with their lives. If you can't make it there right after the event, it does take a very long time to rebuild. The mess will still be there when you have a chance to help.

Another idea is to document the cleanup while you are helping. When you come back to your life, spread the word about what is really going on. If you plan on returning, you might have a few more people joining you.

Everyone deserves to smile

There are soup kitchens and homeless shelters all across the country that would love the extra help. Or you could just hand out food at disaster sites – maybe the firefighters in Florida and California could use a lunch. Good cheap options are oatmeal, crackers with peanut butter, and the all time traveler's favorite – granola. Ample quantities of water are also a great idea.

Help spread a message

If you're looking to lend a hand with a bit of adventure, small-time underground musicians appreciate patronage too. Follow a band as they tour across the country, perhaps even one with a humanitarian message or that regularly contributes to something you believe in. Bands have a way of drawing in the masses if they already have a mass following them – why not help them help the world?

The largest phenomenon was the "dead-heads", followers of the Grateful Dead. Dead-heads would follow the band around the country on tour, camping, sleeping in their cars, doing whatever they could to be at every show. This phenomenon has continued on with some other bands, including Phish and String Cheese Incident.

Advance science and knowledge

If you are up for a real adventure, and are willing to risk your neck, contact a storm chasing group and see if they need hand. Some groups need another person with a vehicle to help carry equipment, and in any case more eyes on the lookout for danger are always a good thing.

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I will be your tour guide to romantic New England, where the love of my life grew up, and where I fell in love with nature. Pack your bathing suit and bring your tent – you're in for a road trip!

Skyscrapers and landmark parks

Boston is beyond beautiful, especially Boston Public Garden. With absolutely perfect tulips, sweeping weeping willow trees over a pristine pond, and musicians at almost every corner to serenade you and your love, it is definitely worth the stop in.

Within walking distance is the theater district and historic landmarks, such as the Green Dragon – the meeting place of our forefathers. I recommend you stop in for some of Sean's Happy Juice. Trust me, it is not to be missed! You won't believe it's alcoholic. Then grab a bite to eat at the original Cheers, we wouldn't want you driving drunk.

Sand, sun, and a sensational overnight stay

New Hampshire literally has it all. Point your compass northeast toward Hampton Beach, and in about an hour you will arrive at quite possibly the most romantic Bed and Breakfast – the Victoria Inn, by reservation. Try and arrive relatively early for as much complimentary wine as you can handle.

Each room is furnished with lovely antiques, soft comfortable settings, and cozy home-like brick-a-brack. Wake up to the scent of fresh coffee and an excellent breakfast, prepared right there in their very own kitchen. Then walk 15 minutes to the beautiful Hampton Beach. There's enough to do there to keep you busy for a whole day – but don't delay too long, there's still so much to see!

Purple Mountains Majesty

Why not find your own rock? Ruggles Mine near Isinglass Mountain at the town of Grafton lets you mine for your own precious and semiprecious stones. In case you don't have your own equipment, they have plenty there for you to rent and use.

The best part – whatever you mine, you keep for free. Well, with the exception of your admission and rental fees, but if you can carry it out it's yours. I have walked out with some pretty fantastic amethyst and agate more often than not, stones that would have otherwise cost an arm and a leg. Well I almost did take off my leg but that's another story!

Now to the Green Mountains

Finally, make sure you have sufficiently gotten away from everything – and I mean, everything. Woods Island State Park at St. Albans Bay, Vermont is just plain gorgeous. It is a truly different experience in a state that is typically famous for its bed and breakfasts.

Although if you would rather a nice soft bed after all that mining, go ahead to Bull Run Farm bed and breakfast in Springfield Vermont. They only have two rooms available for guests, so it is a very quaint and relaxing setting – but also in high demand. The scenery on the way back, either place you go, is sure to take your breath away.

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Two birds, one stone

It can be really hard finding a good place to rough it that is near an interesting family-friendly event. Well how about something that is not only fun, but will also show your children (at whatever hour they want to wake up) the splendor and beauty of the renaissance?

In lovely Sterling, just one hour north of Syracuse, New York, is the Sterling Renaissance Festival. Just down the road from there is a great campground too, so you can stay the whole weekend inexpensively and enjoy the peaceful wilds of nature.

Geared toward keeping your children fascinated

Each weekend of the Sterling Renaissance Festival has a special theme. The first weekend is Children's Weekend, with all kinds of games and rides just for your little ones. It is truly a magical experience and a fun lesson in the old ways, with manners lessons over tea and cookies, archery, and so much more.

They could even play dress-up and compete in the children's costume contest. Then run out all that excess energy in the Queen's Treasure Hunt before going to bed. There are tons of events going on all day long to keep the little ones entertained, just be sure to bring the sun block.

Each ticket is not terribly expensive to begin with, but if you buy them at the web site (http://sterlingfestival.com) in advance, there are several special offers and coupons available.

Come back to renew your love

Stay the week or come back for the next magical experience. The second weekend is Romance Weekend – which of course has a lot of the same fun things for your children to see and do, with a few fantastic additions for mom and dad.

Watch or participate in the beautiful vow renewal ceremonies performed by a justice of the peace, with their own Queen Elizabeth presiding. You even get a champagne toast and period goblets and mugs to take home – along with a few other wonderful surprises. Go in costume, take pictures, and lavish in all the festivities made especially for the two of you.

That's not all!

Each following weekend is fantastic and special in their own right. The third weekend is pirate themed, which is absolutely amazing fun, with so much going on all around that it is hard to keep up. The one thing I really appreciate about this weekend in particular is that it is one the rare pirate-themed events that is actually historically accurate.

Speaking of historically accurate, you might want to get a babysitter for the third weekend, which is all about beer. It's great fun, but probably not the best environment for your little ones. The final weekend is huge, and fits everything they can into those last two days. If you miss all the rest, make it a point to not miss this one!

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Brewer. Patriot.

Going to the Sam Adams Brewery not only allows you to taste all-America beer, but also a full meal of American beer history. The brewery itself is a haven for beer lovers, likened to the beer equivalent of the fictional Wonka chocolate factory more times than I can count.

Not only do you get to taste many different kinds of beer, but also the beer ingredients themselves, all the while getting a full education on the founder, the family, and their way of making beer. Last but not least, stop by the gift shop on the way out for their wonderful and beautiful array of souvenirs. Last I heard they also send you home with a few gifts too.

As of 2006, tours of the Sam Adams Brewery are offered Wednesdays and Thursdays at 2 pm., Fridays at 2 and 5:30 pm. and Saturdays from 11 am. until 2 pm. roughly every half-hour. A $2 donation is requested, and all monies collected are donated to local charities. The tour is open to all ages, but you must be 21 with proper ID to sample beer. For more tour information, call (617) 368-5080.

The finer things in life

Out in the lovely countryside, less than an hour outside Boston off 495, is the Nashoba Valley Winery and Orchard. I would highly recommend a trip out there for anyone, especially in the summer months as the scenery there is gorgeous. The tour is very inexpensive, just a mere three dollars, and you definitely get your money's worth, and then some!

The tour includes the wine-making rooms and the wine-tasting bar. The primary fruit of the winery is apple, not grapes, although they also grow and use grapes, elderberries, strawberries, pears, and peaches. All of the wine is delicious and a spectacular treat, especially for those who haven't had much of a chance to try alcohol made with fruits other than grapes.

Guided tours are available every weekend, starting at 11am with additional tours approximately every 45 minutes thereafter, the final tour starting at 4pm. All ages are welcome, but those under 21 do not have to pay the admission fee as they will not be tasting wine. Every person receives a complimentary wine glass to take home too.

Last but certainly not least, clean your palate with the excellent and exquisite food at J's Restaurant, which is also right on the grounds. Making a reservation is highly recommended, as you probably would not be able to get in otherwise. Best of all – I'll give you one guess as to what is on their wine list!

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Before you leave, formulate:

-Where exactly you are going and by what route (it could be possible that you have no specific destination; such is an acceptable answer). The idea here is to know what your purpose is. Usually it's to get from point A to point B, but there are also many more complicated scenarios, such as "swing down to Baton Rouge to visit so-and-so, then head to Tucumcari for the la-de-da and finally head out to Boston by Oct 17th" or "wander in the NW until we find a replacement bassist" or "keep going east until I have $500 left". You get the idea. The important thing is to know what you want to get out of the journey before you invest your temporary existence into it.

-Time constraints you may have. Do you have to be there by certain date? Ought you be back home by a certain date? How fast can you go? How long will it take you to get to your destination? How much time will any tangents likely require? Perhaps you may research different modes of transport at this point. The less time constraints you have, the more freedom you have to relax and enjoy the journey. Flying does not count as road-tripping, sorry.

-How you will attain food and shelter. Food: Eating out? Packing for the journey? Hunting Insects? Shelter: Sleeping in hotels? Sleeping in the car? Sleeping in a tent? Couch-surfing? Any of these, or any combination, can be a valid choice. If you plan on eating out and/or staying at hotels, make sure to estimate the costs first and make sure it won't bankrupt you.

-Finances. Figure out how much money it's likely to cost you to go on your trip, factoring in price divergence in different geographic locales. If you're not sure of the price diverge of different geographic locales, estimate high. Actually, estimate high anyways. There are always unforeseen events for better or poorer, richer or worse. Make sure to estimate: Gas, if you are driving. Food, if you haven't packed in abundance. The cost of expected lodging, whether it be camping, hotels, RV parks, or whatever. Entertainment, if you plan on stopping in some towns and cities and doing anything interesting that costs money. Don't forget about your bills at home. If you are going on a very long trip or a trip of unknown length, you may want to consider automatic bill payments, or setting up several months in advance of payments.

Stay aware of these issues on your trip as well. It won't do you a bit of good to plan everything out perfectly and then not realize that your food is disappearing twice as fast as you had anticipated, or other some such problematic eventuality. If you're on a budget, pay attention to how much you spend each day to see whether you are likely to make it to your destination. Keep your goal in mind, but don't be fixated on your goal.

Perhaps you'll end up doing something completely different, who knows? That's not always a bad thing. The important thing is to enjoy the journey. No matter what happens, you took that plunge, and you'll remember it for the rest of your life. I'll say it again because it is vital: enjoy the journey. It's not all about the destination.

Useful Hints

Get a really good road atlas.

Talk to some people in various states you plan on passing thru beforehand (the internet is a wonderful thing) to get an idea for the area.

Don't take extra things you are not likely to need. If it is not helpful to you it is best left at home. This is especially true when traveling without your own vehicle to lug things around in.

Bring a book. When you are done with it you can trade it for one you haven't read yet.

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Eye candy, right from your car

Much of the area's economy is based on tourism. The bay itself is a wildlife preserve, so the expanses of rocky Northern California coastline are absolutely gorgeous. Personally I am a big fan of taking pictures everywhere I go, and the picturesque beauty of this place is well worth the trip, if only for the lovely photographic mementos.

Especially gorgeous is an expanse in Pebble Beach called 17-mile drive. 17-Mile Drive is a great way to just cruise up and down the coach, and take in the beauty of the scenery and wildlife. Sightings include pelicans, seals, otters, and sometimes even whales.

Of course, what trip to California would be complete without surfing? If you do not have your own board or jet ski, there are plenty of places where you can rent one. For the surf challenged, lessons are available just about everywhere you go.

Year round must see attractions

For the literary, fans of Steinbeck will be happy to find that Canary Row is still there. Most of the canaries are gone now, but Canary Row is full of famous restaurants, small or large art galleries, and shops you will not find anywhere else.

Anybody with an interest in oceanography or marine biology should then proceed immediately to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, which happens to be one of the world's leading research institutes. The two-story otter tank is not to be missed.

The historic perspective

In downtown Monterey still stand a number of the original, traditional adobes. These clay buildings are testaments to the rich cultural history of the Monterey Bay area. Many of the historic buildings are available for tour, and there are historic walking tours available throughout much of the city as well.

Fisherman's Wharf is also downtown, and you can get the freshest seafood imaginable there. I recommend the Liberty Fish Co. because the employees love it there. The owners are very good people, which is a rare find in the restaurant business.

Maybe even run into someone famous

Golfers won't want to miss the Pebble Beach golf courses, which are not only famous, but draw a number of celebrities such as Bill Murray every year, as well as Clint Eastwood, who lives there. Eastwood was actually the mayor of Carmel for a while, and still manages one or two restaurants in the area.

The Lost Boys was filmed and set in Santa Cruz, though they changed the name. Santa Cruz is across the bay from Monterey. The amusement park from the film is real; it's the Santa Cruz Beach & Boardwalk.

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I, however, pick up hitchhikers, and have hitchhiked myself a couple of times. Overall I've had harmless dealings so far with the hitchhikers I've picked up and even met a lasting friend that way, and though one time a hitchhiker did steal a wallet out of a backpack in the back seat, I don't let that stand-alone negative experience dissuade me from helping other people in need in the future.

On Tricksters and Intuition

It's just a matter of following your gut, your sixteenth sense, in learning how to be receptive to someone's vibe. We don't give our intuitions enough credit, too severely focused on the analytical framework of the head brain. The trick both to hitching, and to picking up hitchers, is to be in-tune with the subtle energy flows under the surface- that you may read someone's intentions clear as night.

The vast majority of people are pure of heart and kind, but, the vast majority of people are also selfish and shallow, wallowing hollow. Tricksters learn to capitalize on people who are kindhearted but naive, bending the awareness of their shadiness into a situation of need. This occurs successfully I think when the people being taken advantage of are helping out of a feeling of social obligation, rather than genuine compassion. Truly compassionate acts can sometimes appear quite cruel, for instance calling someone on their deception and smashing their facade, something that will be good for them in the long run but is not easy for them to face at the time.

Basic Do's & Dont's of Etiquette

Stand somewhere where it is easy for people to pull over, or at least possible. Interstate on- or off-ramps are great, as long as there is plenty of room for deceleration and clear vision of the area. People are much more likely to pull over if they see you for a few moments prior to passing you, wherein their brain can process the decision to stop.

Stick your thumb out in a relaxed, not insistent manner, facing traffic. A simple cardboard sign ("A1 North") can work also. You don't have to stick your thumb out when there are no cars around, unless you happen to be superstitious that way. Never gesture angrily or yell at people who don't pick you up as you'll just contribute to the negative imagery of hitchhikers.

When a car pulls over, run to it on the passenger side and wait for a door to open or window to roll down. If you get an uncomfortable ('bad') vibe, politely tell the person no thanks you'll wait for the next one. If they are insistent, walk away. If they continue to follow you, run screaming or bust out the judo.

When you do get a ride, thank the person immediately and introduce yourself. Ask where you should sit if there is any question. More than likely they'll ask you where you're going and you'll figure out how far they'll take you. Offer a couple bucks gas money if you have enough to spare, especially if they take you a long distance or are inconvenienced by your presence.

Make small talk if the person seems chatty, bask in the scenery if they prefer silence. During rides is a prime opportunity to gain knowledge about surrounding areas. You can ask the denizens of the vehicle if they are from the area, what it's like, nearby areas of interest, etc, whatever you want to know. People usually love to talk about such things to strangers, for it makes them feel like an expert somehow, the local tour guide, in a position of power.

When they drop you off, thank them again by name (if you remember it). If you don't remember, ask them their name again. Perhaps swap contact info if you really liked them. Most importantly, have fun!

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